TeddyGrams

The Secrets You Tell Your Teddybear.

Cookie-monster. February 15, 2011

Filed under: random — teddygrams @ 11:25 pm
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I am officially the heaviest that I have ever been. I’m sort of numb. The last 3 months have been nothing but looking for constant distractions, one of which was food. I have picked up a slight addiction to Famous Amos cookies. It is a problem. I am seeing that.

My indulgence.

 

I have gone from being a light-weight-vegan to having a BMI over 21.

This is slightly embarrassing, but I’m about to use the excuse that many adults use. I don’t have time to get back into shape. I guess now starts the fight to try to eat healthy and to get back into a routine. One that involves sleep so I’m not so tired all the time.

I feel so gross. This has to change. Going vegan again would be such an easy fix, but I think this time, I have to be practical. I must learn to turn away from the call of the cookies.

 

New zodiac sign? Really? January 13, 2011

Filed under: random — teddygrams @ 5:58 pm
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Crazy kids.

The earth has been wobbling (the axis shifted slightly) and the stars are no longer aligned. There were some miscalculations and boom. My life has been a lie. Okay, I’m not one of those people that relies on the stars to predict my life for me so I will be prepared but this is still slightly alarming. I am not an Aries? I am a Pisces now? Please stop an and explain. Because I will not let go of my stubbornness. That’s trait that I can give these Zodiac people that the predicted right. What if I was one of those people that got it tattooed on myself? Sigh. Here is the new calendar:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11– April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20

This would have been so much cooler if I was an Ophiuchus now. Instead I got my ram taken away and was handed a fish.

Just for laughs, my father’s thoughts: “WHAT? The day I was born, I was an Aries. I am still an Aries. I don’t like Pisces, they are so pessimistic.” Hmm, maybe this explains why I’ve been so down lately. (I really do not believe this, but it is an interesting coincident.)

I promise that I’m not making this up. Multiple news sources have been reporting on it. TIME: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/13/horoscope-hang-up-earth-rotation-changes-zodiac-signs/

It’s really not a big deal though. Just another thing for people to hype. Like I am right now. Ugh, I feel like I just feel into a mass-media trap.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Edit: This only applies to newborn babies. That would make sense because the reasons this change occurred are recent.  I really should make sure I know more about things before I start complaining. Now I just look like an idiot.

 

Check your totem.

A reference from the Christopher Nolan movie Inception that suggests that a person should examine their totem (small personal object) in order to determine whether they are in reality or in delusional dreamland.

Intended to be used sarcastically.

D-Bag: “I swear every b**** in that club wanted my D.”

Smugster: Go Check your Totem.

I found this mildly hilarious. Thank you, Urban Dictionary for that source of enjoyment. I must re-watch Inception soon.

I had one of those nights that you just can’t even think about sleep last night. All I wanted to do was get up and go on a long run until my legs fell off. This could be called cabin fever to some extent. I never stepped outside at all yesterday, I decided to knock out some homework instead. I heard my alarm go off that tells me to wake up for school when the streets aren’t icy before I feel asleep. I woke up much earlier than usual too. So I’m sort of running on a nap.

Immediately after waking up I decided to supplement my existing work out routines with something from the Nike Training iPhone app. Loved it (enough though I lack enough balance to do a couple drills). I don’t think I’ve sweat that much in a long time. It felt good.

Then an apple. What what? It’s been too long that I haven’t eaten one of these delectable things. My taste buds sort of went into shock. Apples=love. Too bad my teeth have gotten too sensitive to cold to eat them too often.

Sxephil break.

I try to keep up with the world and what’s happening. I try not to be just another one of those oblivious teens that is just liven life and doesn’t care about what else is going on. I have the second part down, I care, I’m curious. Even with constantly checking the news and things, I realize that I’m still not completely up to date. Politics, weather, and criminals aren’t life. There are so many things that are always going on that we will never be aware of until they hit the mainstream media. Now that were things get a little hazy. The media shouldn’t rule the information of the world. But the laziness of people has let it do just that.

Snack break.

Today is Lohri, a Hindu/Indian festival. If you asked me now, I couldn’t tell you what it was about. This is a sad statement. I know. It’s even more sad because it is more specific to northern India and the state where my family once lived. I’m thinking that there is a ceremony that involves a bonfire and celebrating winter and lots of food. I shall ask my grandparents in a few minutes. I don’t want to go to the family gathering tonight without some sort of background.

I hear “Fly like a G6” playing somewhere. Unmistakable bass.

The Super Bowl will be coming soon. I really should start settling down on a team. Knowing me, it will be game specific. It almost always is. I wish I LOVED a team, but I don’t. I was fairly impartial during the Auburn-Oregon game this year. I just like Cam Newton and like it when whatever team my cousin is supporting loses. Out of the colleges that I could go to, only one of them has a well recognized team. That college is also my fall-back, go figure. I guess I may just have to get used to losing.

I think its time for some core work, I don’t know what’s gotten into me today. I just want to be tired when I go to sleep tonight.

 

I just had to check. December 2, 2010

Filed under: friends,random — teddygrams @ 11:34 pm
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And he is right. A friend texted me asking if I was okay. He had just been reading this stuff. I was surprised that he could tell from my writing that something was wrong and went on to tell him about some things. I came back to actually read what I have written in the past few weeks and man. This is not me. It sounds so awful. Everything.

This has to change.

Currently, I am not blogging because my parents are annoyed that I write so much and I am so far behind on school stuff. I’m playing catch up right now. It’s the end of semester rush. 7 more tests, finals, then freedom. For a couple weeks that is. I need to keep my GPA up for scholarships. I’m going to try to keep my senioristis at the level it is at currently. Maybe even push it a little more.

I must sleep now. I have to wake up in a few hours to study some more.

 

Black Friday Nightmares. November 26, 2010

Not really. It was a fairly good day, but a great evening. My mother forgot to set a 3 am alarm for us so I awoke to a family rushing to get out of the door. I wasn’t really in the mood for shopping, I just enjoyed listening to music with my sister and messing around with her. She found this oddly shaped piece of cocking that had come off of the building we were waiting in line next to. She proceeded to throw it at everyone: my mother and father, my grandfather, and me. We laughed and laughed and before we knew it the line was moving. It reminded me of being really little and unable to wait. We really didn’t care about going into the stores, we just enjoyed each other’s company.

When we got home I crawled back into bed. My sister soon joined me and snuggled up with a few of the many pillows that surround me as I sleep. She was quick to leave; she prefers the softness of her bed to mine. I slept for almost 6 more hours. In that time I had some of the most vivid dreams I have had in a long time.

It started on a Broadway stage. It was “The Little Mermaid.” I was Ariel. This does not surprise me. I have seen the Little Mermaid movies too many times to count. The first song that I ever learned to sing was “Part of Your World.” I still to this day sing it in the shower. Anyways, the setting of the dream shifted from the stage to an actual place. I felt like I was IN the movie. It was as if there were still people watching and I was still nervous about messing up. There was barely any time for worrying though, I was on a ship (presumably Price Eric’s) and the water around me was beginning to move in. It was like Calypso from Pirates of the Caribbean. Ursula and Davy Jones’ monster were both there stirring the water up enough to take the ship under. Ursula sprayed ink everywhere and everything was black. When I opened my eyes (still in the dream) I was now in a strawberry field. I was wearing a white dress with daisies in my hair and dancing barefoot  – so cliche right. None of this dream was very original until now. All of my loved ones started to join me in my dance. Soon their loved ones appeared as well, and the loved one’s loved ones appeared. It was like the 6 degrees of seperation rule had brought everyone in existence (real or in memory)  to this field and we all had not a care in the world except having a good time together. The feeling that I felt at that moment in that dream is impossible to describe, it was beyond joy or happiness.  The collective cheer sparked something; it is that something that I think we are all after in our lives. I had a few moments to ponder this before the dream changed. All the people that must not have truly been living dropped to the ground. Terror spread. Despair crept its way through the crowd. Reality returned. I awoke to see that it was the afternoon. I joined my father and sister; we went back out shopping. I spent the rest of the day quiet, thinking about this dream.

This evening was nice. It was a nice little close to my Thanksgiving break. Tomorrow will come and I will resume my normal weekend schedule and the worry about exams will begin.

Today was my best friend’s grandfather’s 89th birthday. It makes me think of the future. All grandparents have stories to tell, the common theme is change. I’m content with the way my life is now. Change is coming. I guess I just have to accept that. When I was really little I would always wonder when something new would come. I would want to make new friends, live in new places, study different things. I’ve settled into habits now, sort of strange to think about. I like my established friends, I don’t want to move away from what I have, and I wish that I could narrow my studies to certain things. I’ve become much more close-minded. It needs to change. This ramblely passage is not what I intended it to be but so be it.

I think my sister’s presence in the room somehow has effected the way I’m writing. It is strange to have another person watch the words spill across the screen. I don’t mind it though. Today has been a good day with her. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.

 

I need a distraction. November 25, 2010

Filed under: random,thoughts — teddygrams @ 9:12 pm
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To take my focus from how uncomfortably full I am. I’m close to my bathroom just in case. Each minute feels like and hour and I am trying my best to get through. The silly thing is that my body has yet another way to signal to me that it needs nourishment now. I don’t like feeling that way without it being my choice. I’m considering just letting it happen until there is nothing left to make me feel like this.

Music makes me feel more awful. I think it’s because whenever I hear anything, I sort of dance inside of my head. Dancing with a full stomach is no fun.

I met someone new today, my mom’s friend’s son. He is a strong advocate of UGA. He went there and got into Medical School. It gives me something to think about. I really don’t even want to to be in engineer.

He talked politics over Thanksgiving dinner. I enjoyed what he had to say, but then again I like hearing my conservative father discuss things with young liberals. One of the things this new guy talked about was the general shift in views as people age. “If you are young and not liberal, then you have no heart; but if you are old and not conservative, then you have no brain.” This was the first time that I heard this quote, after some intense Googling I learned that it is well known among those who are knowledgeable when it comes to politics.

Tomorrow is Black Friday. I’m looking forward to getting up and being with my family. I don’t think the four of us (my mom, dad, sister and me) have been in the same car for months. Sadly, the chance of this changing is very slight. Sometimes it feels like we all live out own lives, just happen to live in the same house. When I was younger I was always so concerned with family time. I refused to have the TV on during dinner and I insisted that we all eat together. Now I go downstairs and grab a piece of toast and a handful of cookies before I head to bed most nights.

I’m ready to stop thinking and sleep. No chance of that happening though.

 

My hair is thinning out.

Filed under: random — teddygrams @ 6:42 pm
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I’m 17. This shouldn’t happen. Yeah, I know, eat healthy, don’t stress, do this and do that. The thing is that  even if I did everything perfect my hair would still not be like it was a month ago. It is over 2 feet long. There is no going back.  New hair would never catch up to what is left. All I can do is protect what I have.  Sadly, this is what had been occupying my mind for a decent portion of this hour.

Vanity. It can dictate so much of what goes on in the world.

It’s Thanksgiving. All my cousins are running around my house gleefully. I am sitting here sulking in my room on the corner of my bed that is normally occupied by my best friend. That term had started getting so definite. I obviously was referring to a single person. For the first time in my life I was not saying “one of my best friends” but just best friend. It was a title.

Titles. What do people gain from them? Some strange feeling of having a place? I was talking to my best friend (a different one) and he reminded me of all the problems that erupt from giving people titles. I hate labels. I always have. Why is it that I wanted one? It doesn’t automatically make you closer to anyone. Security I guess. Not knowing what is coming in the future really gets to me.

Writers Block is killing me. I have somethings I would like to write about, but I don’t want to read it later. It leaves me trying to fill in the gaps of this feeble stream of conscience.

I should do a post on what I’m thankful for. It’s Thanksgiving. Maybe later.