TeddyGrams

The Secrets You Tell Your Teddybear.

This is going to sound silly. October 31, 2010

Filed under: issues,life,school — teddygrams @ 9:07 pm
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Sometimes I really wish I didn’t have to listen to myself think. My own thoughts stress me out so much that I just become nonfunctional. For the last couple days I have had a few things pressing my mind.

Going vegan for a week was a spontaneous idea. No, I was not watching PETA videos or looking up the milk production process. I just walked into my room and saw Sophie, my lovely teddy bear, on the floor. This made me think of how careless I was with how I treated her, which in turn led my thoughts to the treatment of animals. I have been a vegetarian my basically my whole life. I have never even tasted most types of meat. Does it mean that I should have no guilt when it came to all the stuff PETA whines about? No. Even being a vegetarian, my life is still not cruelty free. This thought does not cross my mind often enough. I know that I will not be able to be vegan for my whole life; I don’t have that much will-power. A friend asked earlier today why I was doing this. My answer was somewhere along the lines of: Even though I will not be a life-long vegan, I will, however, gain awareness for my whole life.

Another completely different thing that has been on my mind: College. Oh how I am ready for the day to come when I am officially a college student. However since colleges cater to those who like to change their minds last minute like myself, I have now idea where this day will be. I wish I had been one of those kids who has wanted to go to the same college since they were 10. But I’m not. Instead I’m like a kid in a candy store trying to figure out what to choose. The only difference is the amount of gravity this choice will have on my life. My fall back is one of the public colleges in-state. The problem is that I don’t know where my target school is. My reach schools are definitely some of the BS/MD programs I have applied to. I recently took the SAT and ACT. So far I have gotten my SAT scores and they are right at where they need to be: above average and in the top percentiles. Although, I was really hoping that I would wow myself and exceed my achievable goal. What gets me is that scores that ivy league schools look for are achieved by less than 5% of the kids in the country. The top 5%, the academic elite.    I have decided that unlike originally planned, I will be applying to no ivy league schools. They require SAT subject tests anyways, of which I have taken none.

Speaking of tests, I have quite a few piling up. I have been in and out of school due to headaches and field trips. I have 4 difficult tests in the next few days. None of which is a no-brainer type of test. Each one will require a large chuck of study time. The grades are very important on these tests because I am on the edge in a couple subjects. I would like A’s please, not the B’s that I’m going to get if I don’t study hard. I talked to my father today about this. He recommended dropping my math class one level down. It would still be an AP class, but slower and more accommodating to my busy schedule. For one of the first times in my life I actually do want to drop to a class that is not the highest level. Too bad it’s too late. My class is 2 chapters ahead of the class that I would have to drop to. We have already finished all the requirements of the class one step down. I don’t think my Calculus teacher would mind at all if I wasn’t in his class; I don’t think he enjoys my presence much anyways. I saw him at a play that I promised my sister I would take her to at my school.

 

My apologies to you, blog. October 27, 2010

Filed under: life,school — teddygrams @ 10:50 pm
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I have once again meandered to another medium. Don’t get me wrong. I love hearing the clicking of the keys as my thoughts spill across the screen. But lately, I have been working on my cursive handwriting. I rather enjoy using that for my most random thoughts. The feeling of a pen glide smoothly across paper cannot be replaced (the look of it is also very beautiful and it makes my writing sort of look scholarly even though it’s not). The silly thing is that I always think to myself  “I must remember to blog about this tonight as well.” When I do try, as I do every night, I just end up with something very incoherent which lacks substance. Maybe it’s because I’ve already written it and the thoughts have left my head. I’m not much a fan of copying things to here either. I think of my blog and journal as two children that are in competition for my attention. It would not be fair to make one share it’s prize with the other.

I think the topics I have attempted to cover include consistency, what the characteristics of a grown up are, my silly teenage moments, the lack of meaning in the speech of politicians,  and the absurdities of religious traditions. My thoughts:

Consistency is what makes a person valuable –  doing something great once is fantastic, but doing something wonderful many times is what gives people definition.

Grownups have jobs or some self-created purpose, know what is important to them in life, and use their experience to guide them. Very loose definition, right?

As much as I would like to think that I’m ready to be out of high school, the truth is that I need to pick up a few more vital  skills. Not procrastinating perhaps.

Politicians are so ridiculous. Yes that was a blanket statement. There is no way that a person happens to have the exact same views as the party they run for. Why do so many of them pretend to? I hate parties.

Stars are wondrous, yes. I can not even begin to wrap my head around the concept of their formation and life. Does this mean I should make offerings to them to ask for a good husband? I think not. I do it anyways. Tradition is important to my family.

There. 5 days in 1. Tomorrow is going to be a death day. SAT scores come out from the one I took a few weeks ago. I have a  monster Economics test. And lastly I have a Paradise Lost test. I think I shall go to bed now and wake up at 3.

 

SAT and life around it March 13, 2010

Filed under: friends,school — teddygrams @ 9:00 pm
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SAT is always capitalized. It makes it look so much more important. So much more intimidating. I planned my whole weekend around those three letters. And now that its over and the stress of that is gone, I have to deal with all the school work that I pushed out of the way because of the SAT. How do I think I did after the 2 days of no thoughts other than SAT?

Alright. I had read examples of  6s for essays and I finished with way too much time so I went back and added to mine, I think I just made my maybe a 6 to a definite 4. After that shaky start I went straight into a math section which boosted my confidence. I finished the next 6 sections feeling like a winner. This was until I came to a second grid-in. I thought about it and realized that it meant that one of them was experimental, but which one. On one, I got every single problem right, on the other, I missed 3. The only 3 problems that I didn’t know how to do in math in all of the SAT. I really hope that it was an experimental section and won’t be counted. After that I had 3 more sections to go and really had to pee. During the break I tried to calm myself down, but the worry had already kicked in. The next three sections were a struggle and I feel that I did average on, about the same as before. So did I reach my goal of 2000? We’ll find out in 3 or 4 weeks.

To push that out of my mind, I was going to go to starbuck’s with one of my girlfriends who had also taken the SAT. GIRLFRIEND. Not the random stalker of one of my other girlfriends. I just happen to be nice to him, he followed along. This ruined the mood of my girlfriend’s boyfriend, and they had a 30 second fight which ended up bothering her for the rest of the day. She is probably still cleaning up some of the mess. My question coming from all this is why. Why do people think that their friend’s friends are their friends too? Why do they not realize that they are causing tension?

We did manage to have fun. The two of us plus one. We went to my place of work and got my check and some fries. Some of which were so large that they reminded us of some male anatomy. We laughed and did want girls do, by the time we were ready to go to Starbuck’s my other girlfriend called. She was free and could come with us. This is the same girl whose stalker was with us. So we all met up at Starbuck’s and my GF (from SAT) and I made sure to sit between my other GF and her stalker. We did this for a few reasons. Some of which include: my GF has a boyfriend. That boyfriend is also a close friend. This GF likes to flirt, enough were it can strain relationships. Even sitting across the table from her, this girl’s stalker still managed to get physical. He stuck out his legs to tough hers. When GF from the SAT and I saw this we immediately threw our own legs into the mix.  I also have failed to mention that there was a creeper sitting 3 feet away from us at this time. He kept joining conversations and making comments. We left the cafe with a little bit of a caffeine rush and a general creeped out feeling.

I then went to GF from SAT’s house and we chilled for 2 hours. I was really tired and not very entertaining. Then GF #2’s boyfriend called and said that she had informed him that I needed help on WebAssign for Physics. I finished it at GF from SAT’s house and then left. (or she kicked me out, haha)

I came home to see the list of stuff to do on my mirror. This is why junior year is called the hardest. Its all about juggling the intense school work and all the extra stuff thrown at you for college in the years ahead. I’m just afraid that I might lose my balance and trip.