TeddyGrams

The Secrets You Tell Your Teddybear.

I just had to check. December 2, 2010

Filed under: friends,random — teddygrams @ 11:34 pm
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And he is right. A friend texted me asking if I was okay. He had just been reading this stuff. I was surprised that he could tell from my writing that something was wrong and went on to tell him about some things. I came back to actually read what I have written in the past few weeks and man. This is not me. It sounds so awful. Everything.

This has to change.

Currently, I am not blogging because my parents are annoyed that I write so much and I am so far behind on school stuff. I’m playing catch up right now. It’s the end of semester rush. 7 more tests, finals, then freedom. For a couple weeks that is. I need to keep my GPA up for scholarships. I’m going to try to keep my senioristis at the level it is at currently. Maybe even push it a little more.

I must sleep now. I have to wake up in a few hours to study some more.

 

This is going to sound silly. October 31, 2010

Filed under: issues,life,school — teddygrams @ 9:07 pm
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Sometimes I really wish I didn’t have to listen to myself think. My own thoughts stress me out so much that I just become nonfunctional. For the last couple days I have had a few things pressing my mind.

Going vegan for a week was a spontaneous idea. No, I was not watching PETA videos or looking up the milk production process. I just walked into my room and saw Sophie, my lovely teddy bear, on the floor. This made me think of how careless I was with how I treated her, which in turn led my thoughts to the treatment of animals. I have been a vegetarian my basically my whole life. I have never even tasted most types of meat. Does it mean that I should have no guilt when it came to all the stuff PETA whines about? No. Even being a vegetarian, my life is still not cruelty free. This thought does not cross my mind often enough. I know that I will not be able to be vegan for my whole life; I don’t have that much will-power. A friend asked earlier today why I was doing this. My answer was somewhere along the lines of: Even though I will not be a life-long vegan, I will, however, gain awareness for my whole life.

Another completely different thing that has been on my mind: College. Oh how I am ready for the day to come when I am officially a college student. However since colleges cater to those who like to change their minds last minute like myself, I have now idea where this day will be. I wish I had been one of those kids who has wanted to go to the same college since they were 10. But I’m not. Instead I’m like a kid in a candy store trying to figure out what to choose. The only difference is the amount of gravity this choice will have on my life. My fall back is one of the public colleges in-state. The problem is that I don’t know where my target school is. My reach schools are definitely some of the BS/MD programs I have applied to. I recently took the SAT and ACT. So far I have gotten my SAT scores and they are right at where they need to be: above average and in the top percentiles. Although, I was really hoping that I would wow myself and exceed my achievable goal. What gets me is that scores that ivy league schools look for are achieved by less than 5% of the kids in the country. The top 5%, the academic elite.    I have decided that unlike originally planned, I will be applying to no ivy league schools. They require SAT subject tests anyways, of which I have taken none.

Speaking of tests, I have quite a few piling up. I have been in and out of school due to headaches and field trips. I have 4 difficult tests in the next few days. None of which is a no-brainer type of test. Each one will require a large chuck of study time. The grades are very important on these tests because I am on the edge in a couple subjects. I would like A’s please, not the B’s that I’m going to get if I don’t study hard. I talked to my father today about this. He recommended dropping my math class one level down. It would still be an AP class, but slower and more accommodating to my busy schedule. For one of the first times in my life I actually do want to drop to a class that is not the highest level. Too bad it’s too late. My class is 2 chapters ahead of the class that I would have to drop to. We have already finished all the requirements of the class one step down. I don’t think my Calculus teacher would mind at all if I wasn’t in his class; I don’t think he enjoys my presence much anyways. I saw him at a play that I promised my sister I would take her to at my school.