To somewhere. Just not sure yet. Each day is just consumed by things I NEED to do. Some of the time those needs line up with my wants so it’s nice. Today is hectic and everything is going to roll right into tomorrow. I missed Monday so I spent the day getting caught up and arranging make-up work. As soon as the time came to leave school I hurried to find my friends and we went to an internship meeting. My internship teachers have to give us the same presentation every year so it was a little bit of a drag. When I got home I saw some messages from work asking where I had been. I realized the person who I thought was going to work, did not. Dang. So well, I may not be in the best standing right now. It’s okay though. I have other things to worry about.
Internship is a silly class, but a wonderful experience. The meeting today was fairly pointless, just one of those things the students are required to attend. Its a couple weeks from now when I will actually have to talk about my progress with my mentors and teachers. I’ll have to miss work for that too, great. I causally mentioned to one of my teachers today that I was having a great time in Labor and Delivery and that I had already seen one delivery and a c-section. Everyone seemed to wonder why I was even remotely interested in this sort of thing. That’s actually what most people ask me when I tell them about my position. They want to know if I get to observe birth and if it grosses me out. The answers are yes, and no. I was a little worried before the first birth because I didn’t know how I would react. I was fine, no faintness or anything of that sort. Just interest.
It is absolutely amazing how the whole process works. There is a certain moment of the whole thing that just leaves me in awe -when a baby is finally born but attached to the mother and still not moving much. They look like they could be little dolls. Soon the newborn will start moving, it just seems like it’s growing up right in front of you – learning to use his little muscles. Then, in those first moments of the baby’s life, he starts to do something that he will not stop doing until death. He takes his first breath. It’s almost are if you can see the life move into him. For a moment everyone watching is still and the movement of the little chest is all that you can see. Of course as I’m witnessing this beautiful moment my mind is still buzzing with the thought of all the nonsense that I have to get done that night.
It’s starting to wear on me. My mom was right about me overloading my schedule, but I just can’t say no to it. Saying no to a challenging class is something I have never done. I have to get somewhere in life. Slacking is not going to help. I should stop writing and get to work. So much to do tomorrow. Silly that I still don’t know what exactly I’m working towards. Hopefully by the time my birthday rolls around in the spring I’ll know what’s up college wise. As for the rest of life, I don’t think you ever find out where you’re going. You just go.